Forget Me Not – Julie’s memoirs

Day 6 – WALKING AWAY WHEN NOT WRITING IN YOUR VOICE

Day 6 – WALKING AWAY WHEN NOT WRITING IN YOUR VOICE

Writing in your voice is so crucial to your writing style. I know this as I had lost mine; if I am honest, this is not the original blog post I was going to post today.  I had spent the last three hours writing a post and researching wearing a dressing gown outside the home.  The reason for this was that I opened my curtains today and noticed a woman walking her dog.  She was wearing a pink terry-towelling dressing gown and flip-flops.  My entire article was about social norms and values, our individual freedoms and being judgemental.  It was more like an essay or lecture.  So my three hours have resulted in no blog post and me starting afresh. 

Deciding if you should walk away from a task can be daunting.  You need to evaluate several factors.  How much time is this costing you?  Should you spend your time on more cost-effective tasks?  Is there someone cheaper and more experienced that can do the job instead of you?  After careful consideration of the above philosophy. I am going to walk away from the previous three hours of research.  The post will be marked down as an experience to stay focused in the future.  It turned out to be a vanity blog post to say, look at me, don’t I know many long words. 

Deciding if you should walk away from a task can be daunting.  You need to evaluate several factors.  How much time is this costing you?  Should you spend your time on more cost-effective tasks?  Is there someone cheaper and more experienced that can do the job instead of you?  After careful consideration of the above philosophy. I am going to walk away from the previous three hours of research.  The post will be marked down as an experience to stay focused in the future.  It turned out to be a vanity blog post to say, look at me, don’t I know many long words.

I don’t want to write my memoirs using words that are not from my mouth. Words need to resonate with me, as they are so important.  My style of writing is straightforward, to the point, and I think easy to read.  Using a voice that is not mine is not part of me writing my memoirs or www.forgetmenot.publishmystoires.com.

Writing in your voice

Writing in your voice is so important; it will convey more to the reader about you than you will realise.  You tell your reader your truth in your words, and it is you being genuine when writing your memoirs.  It is very much the tone you use, the words, the way you describe something.  When writing your memoirs, you have the control.

So, I stopped writing my last post.  It was a good essay if I was at university, but I don’t want to write in that style.  Writing my memoirs in this business blog is about me.  I do not wish to lecture or get on my high horse and tell you how to think.  I would prefer you get to know me and my style, know Publish My Stories, and writing memoirs is fun.

What I learnt about writing my memoirs

  1. I need to stay focused on my primary goal and not go off on a tangent
  2. Have the courage to walk away from a business deal or activity if it isn’t working
  3. I have found my voice in my blog and my business.

Writing My Memoirs – 31 Day Challenge – Video and Blog Posts

Day 21 – An Expert
Day 25 – Bullying is Slow
Day 29 – Bullied Health
Day 22 – Fire a Client
Day 26 – Management
Day 30 – Survival
Day 23 – A Dilemma
Day 27 – Accused
Day 31 – I Made It
Day 24 – Sold
Day 28 – Promotion

Day 5 – Opportunity Knocks – “Writing my Memoirs” or something Else!

Day 5 – Opportunity Knocks – “Writing my Memoirs” or something Else!

Opportunity Knocks – Writing my Memoirs or previous skills?

Opportunities to promote yourself and your business can arise at any moment. If anyone tells me they are about to start “writing my memoirs” is a blatant chance. In that case, I know there is an opportunity for us to work together. If you can see that opportunity, grab it with both hands and don’t let go. 

It may sound strange, but you could miss an opportunity if you don’t recognise it right away.  Alternatively, if you don’t know about the possibility of the chance, then you will miss it.  For example, I was at a networking meeting a few weeks ago when one delegate asked if anybody would like to become a trustee of a charity he ran.  In the past, I have been a town councillor and deputy mayor and volunteered in my local community.  I’m a firm believer that everybody should give something back to the community.  I raised my hand and expressed an interest in more information.

As it transpires, I knew the person who set the charity up. I’d worked with him at a previous company.  The charity helps people learn to swim, prevents drowning, and raises money for awareness.  The first meeting was on 4 August, for all potential trustees to understand more about the charity.  I stated that I’m still interested and am looking forward to finding out more about the organisation. 

Back to my old job – Writing Minutes, not Writing my Memoirs

Five Five minutes into the meeting, the chair asked if I would mind taking the meeting minutes.  I hadn’t been elected as a trustee yet, but I said yes as I knew the chair, and he knew my previous skills.  I then introduce myself to the other trustees from all over the world.  During my introduction, I explained what I did by helping people write memoirs and getting their stories into print. I expressed my passion for writing memoirs and listening to family history.  In the meeting, there was someone from the British Space Agency and Canadian Charity Worker.  If I hadn’t said yes to being interested in being a trustee, there is no way that I would have had the opportunity to meet these people.

I’m now looking forward to spending more time getting to know my fellow trustees. Finding out more about them and their business and hoping that they will promote me and my passion for publishing memoirs.  Opportunity seems to knock in the strangest of places and at the strangest of times!  We just need to make sure that our eyes are open, and our ears are listening. Then we can grab those opportunities with both hands.  You never know what may happen or who you will meet.

The Charity – SwimTayka

SwimTayka, is a charity that promote water safety, swimming skills and clean water stewardship to children in developing nations.

What I learnt from this

  1. Opportunities are out there. You need to recognise them when they arise and when they do grab it with both hands.
  2. Any skills you had from a previous job will always come in useful.
  3. Past contacts and work colleagues are a great referral and opportunity generator. 

Writing My Memoirs – 31 Day Challenge – Video and Blog Posts

Day 21 – An Expert
Day 25 – Bullying is Slow
Day 29 – Bullied Health
Day 22 – Fire a Client
Day 26 – Management
Day 30 – Survival
Day 23 – A Dilemma
Day 27 – Accused
Day 31 – I Made It
Day 24 – Sold
Day 28 – Promotion

Day 4 – Listening Skills for Entrepreneurs

Day 4 – Listening Skills for Entrepreneurs

Listening Skills for Entrepreneurs

We all think we can listen; we believe we understand what the speaker in front of us, or on the telephone is asking us to do, but this is not always the case.  How many times in your work have you heard the statement “Oh, sorry, I didn’t understand what you wanted me to do” or “you told me to do X”.  It is more common than you would think. This is because we are not listening or understanding what the speaker is telling us.  This could be because they are not describing it in a way that resonates with you.  Maybe the terminology they are using is unfamiliar or that they are describing it in a way that is not congruent with your listening/learning modalities (Kinaesthetic, audio, or visual).

One of my clients called and asked if I would do a task for them.  I told them I would in about 10 minutes, as I had to finish something else.  They appeared happy with that outcome.  6 minutes later, they called back to see if I had done the task.  I repeated back to them I had a task to finish and that their task would be next on my list.  Again, they were happy with that outcome.  On the third call I changed my tactic and told them it would be done by ‘close of play that day’.  On this occasion they replied they were happy with that and apologised for calling me so many times. They were in the middle of cooking and their mind was elsewhere.

There are in fact three main types of listening skills we all use daily.

Passive Listening – half listening to a conversation and not understating what is being said and in what context

Reflective Listening – listening to the speaker and repeating back what you have heard in your own words to demonstrate you understand the speaker.  (Fantastic for entrepreneurs when dealing with clients to ensure you get the right information to provide a quote and continued services)

Active Listening – When you are paying attention to the speaker and giving them your undivided attention.

Think about your role at work. How much of your day are you communicating (listening, speaking, reading, or writing)? Each job is different, and the time we spend communicating can also vary from day to day.

Listening for Answers

The ability to listen is an important skill. Listening allows you to understand what the speaker is asking of you. It shows that you’re interested in what the speaker has to say.

We all experience common listening problems.

  • Our attention wanders
  • We miss the point
  • Our emotions interfere
  • We interrupt before the speaker has stopped speaking
  • Thinking ahead and missing what’s being said now

Responding to Feelings

The content (the words spoken) is one thing, but how people feel gives full value to the message. Responding to the speaker’s feelings adds an extra dimension of listening. Are they disgusted and angry or in love and excited? Perhaps they are ambivalent! These are all feelings that you can reply to in your part of the conversation.

Reading Cues

Listening means we are also very conscious of the non-verbal aspects of the conversation.

  • What are the speaker’s facial expressions, hand gestures, and posture telling us?
  • Is their voice loud or shaky?
  • Are they stressing certain points?
  • Are they mumbling or having difficulty finding the words they want to say?

When you are listening to someone, these techniques will show a speaker that you are paying attention.

Physical indicators include making eye contact, nodding your head from time to time, and leaning into the conversation.

You can also give verbal cues or use phrases such as “Uh-huh,” “Go on,” and “Then what?”

You can use questions for clarification or summarising statements for example:

  • “Do you mean they were charging £4.00 for just a cup of coffee?”
  • “So, after you got a cab, got to the store, and found the right salesclerk, what happened then?”

Tips for Becoming a Better Listener

  • Decide to listen – Look at the person speaking to you. Give them your undivided attention.
  • Don’t interrupt – Make it a habit to let the speaker finish what they are saying.
  • Make eye contact with the speaker. Don’t let your eyes wander.
  • Make notes on important conversation.
  • Ask questions throughout the conversation.

Learning Points

  1. There are three types of listening skills, passive, reflective and active listening
  2. If you do not understand what is being said, ask the person to repeat it back to you differently or use reflective listening to confirm their requests
  3. Backup your conversations with an email, letter or quotation so you can manage expectations from both

Writing My Memoirs – 31 Day Challenge – Video and Blog Posts

Day 21 – An Expert
Day 25 – Bullying is Slow
Day 29 – Bullied Health
Day 22 – Fire a Client
Day 26 – Management
Day 30 – Survival
Day 23 – A Dilemma
Day 27 – Accused
Day 31 – I Made It
Day 24 – Sold
Day 28 – Promotion

Day 3 – An Entrepreneur’s Mindset

Day 3 – An Entrepreneur’s Mindset

An Entrepreneur’s Mindset

An Entrepreneur’s Mindset is generally different to that of an employed person. Entrepreneurs usually have a distinct attitude and set of priorities compared to those people in paid jobs.  (When I use the term entrepreneurs, I am talking about those people who set up a business from nothing).  We look at things uniquely and wherever we are, every decision, social occasion we talk about, consider or plan something for our business.  If we need a job done, it will never occur to us to ask ‘How do I this’.  Our first concern is the outcome that I want to achieve.  From there, we will then decide on how to get the task completed. 

Our minds are all over the place. How do we earn more income, what products can we sell, who will buy this service?  How can we leverage our current services?  It is a different outlook, which is not right or wrong, it’s just different.

My Hell

My personal hell would be a day of shopping for makeup and clothes. It just has no interest for me.  I am not really interested in my socks are matching as long as my feet are warm or if my bag is a different colour to my shoes as long as it holds everything I need it to hold.  It just isn’t one of my priorities.  Now, if it is one of my author’s books, that is a very different story.  The font has to be spot on, the formatting and front cover need to tell a story in its own right and the author has to be 100% happy with the outcome, I am slightly anal about that, because to me, it’s a product that I have produced and I want my clients to treasure that product.

Take, for example, walking home yesterday.  Just as I was leaving the office, the skies opened with torrential rain.  It just wouldn’t stop.  I didn’t have a coat with me as the weather forecast said it would be sunshine all day.  So, there I am standing the lobby looking at the rain falling and pondering, how am I going to get home.  I could, for example:-

  1. Walk and get soaked
  2. Call a taxi
  3. Get a lift from someone
  4. Wait until the rain stops

Options are available if you think hard

There would be more options if I set my mind to it, Critical Thinking (a very good business term for evaluating all options).  I think situations through and make my decisions quickly and run with the consequences.  It has served me well and I learn quickly from mistakes, especially as I am a firm believer that mistakes are more valuable than getting things right all the time.

Back to my story. I wanted to walk home as the dog also needed a walk, and the rain would wash her coat, which is a bonus.  So, how to get home without getting too wet.  Now, I considered my solutions was rather ingenious considering my limited options.  Get a plastic bag, cut a hole in the top and arms and like magic an instant raincoat.  So, there I am with my pink plastic bin liner, cutting in a hole for the neck and arms to hear someone from behind me question what I was doing. 

I explained what I was doing and why.  She couldn’t understand why I didn’t just wait for the rain to stop, as she was doing.  Her car was 10 feet from the front door.  It never occurred to her to walk to her car in the rain and get wet and that a makeshift plastic bag could act as a temporary raincoat for a few minutes.  What upset her more was the fact that the pink plastic bag was a Biffa bag, and a trade Biffa bag at that.

Appearances can matter

I have been a member of BNI (a networking group for small businesses and entrepreneurs) for many years.  Every so often a member would be asked to give a 10-minute presentation on what their business is and what referrals they are looking for.  On one occasion, I took several tools that I use in my business and carried them in an orange plastic bag.  As I stood in front of the 35 other members explaining my business and what each tool represented, I felt the presentation went well.  It was only after my presentation two women in the group came to me and said they loved the presentation but couldn’t get past the orange plastic bag.  They suggested that next time I should use a company branded bag. 

It concerned me for a while and what was interesting was that both ladies worked for an entrepreneur, which differs from being an entrepreneur.  An entrepreneur’s mindset will equate every penny spent to hours worked or jobs completed. Why would they focus on something as immaterial as the orange plastic bag and not the contents of the bag and what I was saying?  To them, the importance of someone’s outward appearance was just as important as what is being said or sold. I have taken this on board and retired my orange plastic bag.  However, I am still in business and the two ladies are not working for other companies that provide branded products.

Learning Points about an Entrepreneur’s Mindset

  1. There are many ways to get a task completed, focus on the outcome first and work backwards
  2. Don’t be guided by someone who has never had the courage that you have shown by setting up your business
  3. Thinking outside the box is a prerequisite for an entrepreneur, so stand up and yell, “I will do this, and I will do it my way with the results I want to achieve.”

Writing My Memoirs – 31 Day Challenge – Video and Blog Posts

Day 21 – An Expert
Day 25 – Bullying is Slow
Day 29 – Bullied Health
Day 22 – Fire a Client
Day 26 – Management
Day 30 – Survival
Day 23 – A Dilemma
Day 27 – Accused
Day 31 – I Made It
Day 24 – Sold
Day 28 – Promotion

Day 2 – Best laid plans of following the money

Day 2 – Best laid plans of following the money

Day Two of the 31 Day Challenge

The first of August was a Sunday, and it was very easy to spend the time getting my post ready for this challenge.  Today is Monday and a day that I need to spend on fee earning tasks. As a result, this post will be much shorter.

Best laid plans and all that

I had planned to dedicate an hour to this blog post.  That included writing, recording and posting.  However, I had a few issues.  The first was that my keyboard suddenly stopped working, and I had to figure out what was wrong.  I couldn’t type the letter D. You would be surprised how often you use that letter.  I discovered that another program I was using had appropriated the letter D to create a Sticky Key.

I also needed a template to create this post and with Microsoft being as good as it is, somehow there was a change to my computer system which meant the OneDrive’s synchronisation had stopped.  Not only that, the icons were missing from my tool bar.  This has meant that I had wasted half of my allotted time for this post on repairing that link.  Come on Microsoft, let’s try to make things easy for end users.

All of this took time.  That is precious time that meant I didn’t do any billable work.  When working out if you should call in an expert and leave it to them there is a very simple calculation you should do:

Your hourly rate v their hourly billable rate (including VAT if necessary)

Back to Me

I run two businesses, one called www.mypavirtualservices.com and www.publishmystoires.com.  If I am honest, I think of them as the same business, it’s getting administrative tasks and providing my clients with an easy way to get those tasks completed.  I prefer the publishing side of my businesses as I love to provide my clients with a product they can touch, something they are proud of and can pass on to family, friends and/or making a living.  With a hand on my heart, I am a massive voyeur, and I love finding out about people’s stories, their past, and how they have become the person they are today.

Tall Poppy Syndrome

Today, I must also complete my billing as it’s the first working day of the month.  This is one task that I used to hate doing.  I was not alone; most entrepreneurs hate billing.  Often this is because of the accounts software package they use.  Justifying the service or product they provide and the belief in themselves and their business.  This has to be one of the hardest mindsets that an entrepreneur has to overcome.  I have known some business people keeping a photo of their children on their desktop to remind them why they are working so hard.

Follow the Money

I passionately believe in the service I provide.  I passionately support my clients and want the best for them, but it is akin to asking someone for money.  I have a client whose life mantra is “Follow the Money” and a mantra that I have now followed.


Learning Points

  • If your IT breaks down, you could try to fix it yourself, but work out your hourly rate to see if you are saving time and money or just being procrastinating.
  • Invoicing is part of your business and a vital task, cash is king.  Without it you can’t put food on the table, so invoice as soon as you can. On your invoices why not add information about another product or service you provide, it’s easier to sell to your existing customers than to find a new one.
  • Be proud of your business, tell everyone.

Writing My Memoirs – 31 Day Challenge – Video and Blog Posts

Day 21 – An Expert
Day 25 – Bullying is Slow
Day 29 – Bullied Health
Day 22 – Fire a Client
Day 26 – Management
Day 30 – Survival
Day 23 – A Dilemma
Day 27 – Accused
Day 31 – I Made It
Day 24 – Sold
Day 28 – Promotion

Day 1 – The Why of this Blog and Video

Day 1 – The Why of this Blog and Video

Welcome to-Day One of my self-imposed blog / memoir challenge to record the daily activities of a business owner and entrepreneur.  The trials and tribulations that I go through.  I will be honest, frank and to the point.  Running a business is fun, annoying, stressful and the best job I have ever had. 

I thought I would put some personality into my first blog post of this challenge and record a video of me speaking to camera, to introduce myself.  Thinking it would only take a few minutes as I didn’t want the video to be over 3 minutes long. It took forever, OK not that long but to get the video recorded took an hour and a half, to do a minor edit to two hours and then posting and writing this blog post took an hour.  So four and a half hours for a few words and a three-minute video.

I thought I would put some personality into my first blog post of this challenge and record a video of me speaking to camera, to introduce myself.  Thinking it would only take a few minutes as I didn’t want the video to be over 3 minutes long. It took forever, OK not that long but to get the video recorded took an hour and a half, to do a minor edit to two hours and then posting and writing this blog post took an hour.  So four and a half hours for a few words and a three-minute video.

Why does a video recording take so long?

Putting on make before a video recording

First, I needed to put some colour in my cheeks.  I had just woken up and looked as if I was at death’s door. So on with the slap (or make up if you prefer).  You would think this would be a straightforward task.  Being a woman, we should all know how to apply makeup and look a million dollars in 60 seconds.  I rarely wear make-up so had to turn the bathroom upside down to find the little makeup I had.  My bathroom is now a complete and utter tip.  My make up is so old I had to put it in hot water to loosen it so I can use the foundation and mascara. Before anybody tells me, yes I know you should change your make up every three months. But the reality is we don’t.

Looking good on camera?

After experimenting with how to apply the said makeup, I haven’t done it for many years. I finally settled on brown eyeshadow a bit of lipstick and foundation.  I forgot to put blusher, which was why I started the entire process.  Claudia Schiffer: I am not, but looking human and able to face a camera, yes.

Location, Location, Location

I then had to find a location to record my video. I tried my spare room, the kitchen, the living room, even the bathroom, all to no avail.  In the end I went into my office and spent half an hour moving furniture around trying to find a backdrop that would look suitable for a video.

My Desk after rearranging for video
Background for my video

I know the video to the side of this narrative doesn’t look like a superb background. But it was the best I could do with the location I have.  I will not go out and buy a green screen and it took long enough.  As you can see from the photographs, my office is now a complete and utter tip. Once the video was recorded, or I should say during the recording of the video, my dog was barking, so this version is version two.

If you could see my stance while recording the video you think I was going to cause physical damage to myself.  I was half bending and doing a sideward squat to get in shot. How these bloggers do it daily I just don’t know. It must take them hours to set up before they can actually publish a video.  I’m not sure I’m going to spend over an hour every time I record one. I need to get on and actually do some billable work.

The reason behind writing this memoir

The idea behind this blog is that I want to show people everybody has a story to tell, no matter what you do and how you do it. There are different reasons people want to write memoirs.

My learnings from this exercise

Don’t reference something from a different video and assume it has been watched.

Types of Memoirs

  1. Teaching memoir
  2. Transformation memoir
  3. History memoir
  4. Confessional memoir

Here is a link to explain what each memoir style means

  1. Videos take a lot longer to make than you first thought
  2. Use a camera on Landscape and clean the lens before recording
  3. Lock the dog away before you start to record
  4. My previous videos look flat and boring
  5. You have to put the time in to make a good video
  6. Video and the written word work well together for telling stories

Writing My Memoirs – 31 Day Challenge – Video and Blog Posts

Day 21 – An Expert
Day 25 – Bullying is Slow
Day 29 – Bullied Health
Day 22 – Fire a Client
Day 26 – Management
Day 30 – Survival
Day 23 – A Dilemma
Day 27 – Accused
Day 31 – I Made It
Day 24 – Sold
Day 28 – Promotion

The Introduction to Julie’s Blog

The Introduction to Julie’s Blog

Writing My Memoirs in this blog is a very personal blog for me, Julie Farmer.  It is here for two reasons:

Why am I writing my memoris in a blog

  1. To show that everyone has a story to tell, has mishaps, amusing anecdotes, and information.
  2. Writing your memoirs does not have to start at birth. It can be from a certain point in your life, expressing a hobby, thoughts, feelings.  It is about the message you want to portray.

I currently have a column in a local magazine where I write book and podcast reviews. The tone and language are very formal, business and professional.  This blog is not formal. It is about me, a business owner, a female entrepreneur and from the heart.

During the day, I am a Publisher, of people’s memoirs, poems, and stories.  I also provide support for individuals and small businesses who need someone who can do things.  This blog, in some cases, will be me venting, will be me passing on some learnings that I have received and hints and tips for me to remember.  On the whole, this blog will be about me.  A record of my business from now until retirement.

The Plan

The plan for today was to come into the office and write a personal blog post for Forget Me Not.  I had allocated one hour for this task from 9 am to 10 am.  The plan also included creating a sub-domain and branding the blog page.  Then I planned to ‘get on with my day’.  Well, that was the plan!

  • On the way to work, I had a phone call to say that the internet was down in the office and needed to be sorted right away.  Not a problem, I said, I am 5 minutes away, and we can then get the internet fixed.  Upon arrival, I was greeted with anger and frustration for the staff involved, as only IT can make you.  For some unknown reason, a misbehaving computer will always make people angry.  That anger will be taken out at the only person people think can fix it.  That is me.
  • Before I had turned on my computer, I had another client on the phone wanting me to create a new email account from the domain name I had purchased for him on Friday.  He also wanted an email account set up and added to his computer. A unique signature with the company registered address and company reference number.  The only problem he doesn’t know the address or any detail of the new company.  A search of Companies House will garner the information required, and this needs to be added as a matter of urgency.  He arrived 10 minutes later, computer in hand.  Explaining it will take time, as I had other imperative tasks to complete.  He left his laptop, stating he will return in 48 hours.
  • Finally, I opened my computer.  I had another client wanting two documents rebranded, ready to be sent to their clients. But, again, this needs to be done by 10.00.
  • I also need to buy some paint from somewhere for a client and arrange a contract for gardening.  I live in the middle of the country.

The date in context of world events while Writing My Memoirs

Today was also the launch of the new news channel GB News.  I wanted to see how this news channel treated the news and watch their unbiased interpretation.  What a palaver that turned out to be.  I thought the best way to get the channel would be to download the Sky app.  No luck. The sky app only shows Sky News. 

I decided that I would locate their website.  No luck.  In the end, I had to log into YouTube and searched for #GBNews.  A Telegraph report was suggested.  Clicking on that video was an introduction to the new channel, with no mention of the website.  They did, however, show a Facebook icon.  I open Facebook and found their Facebook page, they had put their website address there.  For your information, it is www.gbnews.uk/ if you are interested.  I plan to have the channel on in the background while I am working.  This will make a change from LBC.

My dog, who always comes to work with me, demanded that she go out to the loo.  As every dog owner will know, the hurriff and bops are relentless until they get their own way.  Taking her out, she pulled on her lead, which resulted in me spilling my coffee all over my new dress.  And to add insult to injury, I have no more milk until lunchtime when I venture out to Tesco, so no coffee for me!

The WordPress website currently won’t load any images or accept any posts.  It is now 9.37 am, and I am voting to restart the day.

Writing My Memoirs – 31 Day Challenge – Video and Blog Posts

Day 21 – An Expert
Day 25 – Bullying is Slow
Day 29 – Bullied Health
Day 22 – Fire a Client
Day 26 – Management
Day 30 – Survival
Day 23 – A Dilemma
Day 27 – Accused
Day 31 – I Made It
Day 24 – Sold
Day 28 – Promotion